Children are very aware of their emotions and let them out freely and daily, from a smile or a hearty laugh that we laugh along with, to a piercing scream or wail, when upset.
As they get older they mask these emotions in different social settings and it takes until 7 to 10 years old, when they learn strategies to manage them.
AGE 3- They can start to suppress emotional responses in public or at home if there is conflict around them.
AGE 4-They can alter emotional expressions outwardly that do not match the internal emotion.
AGES 5 to 7-They start to feel embarassment and shame.
So in reality, 7 years of confusion and anxiety on how they respond and with who or where?
We wanted to change the whole narrative of naming the emotions and questions about them.
"Are you sad, what upset you,why are you so angry....?"and the response is more anger or tears, because explaining them, is hard for Small Soul's .
Lavenderbuddy is a unique Growth Mindset tool for children that help them with their emotions through play, colour, reading and hugs. He has added benefits of a Sensory tactile fabric and Lavender flowers which may help with sleep too!
Lavenderbuddy has 7 Chakras down his body in colour.
These are spinning wheels that store emotions and glow when they are cleared.
He can feel the emotions in his Chakras on his body and says Magical Words that get them spinning and glowing again.
These are I AM affirmations.
The Social Story book helps to explain new situations and emotional responses to others and the I AM words Lavenderbuddy uses to help him feel better.
This is read at first, with Big Soul's, the Small Souls hug Lavenderbuddy who has Lavender flowers inside a pouch in his tummy.
The Hormome oxytocin is then released, the cuddle hormone.
This alongside the Lavender scent then holds space for relaxation to start in the body and the Limbic system of the brain then gets to work in the background, taking in the scent of the Lavender which is proven to relax and calm.
That feeling from Oxytocin and the Scent on the nervous system is now set in a subconcious place.
The next time Lavenderbuddy is used, the body will automatically respond to the memory set the last time, with no outside effort.
Smell Memory association sits in the oldest part of the Brain. (Its Gold in a marketers world, stroll by the Bakery section in a supermarket on a wet rainy afternoon and see what your response is...)
The soft fabric of the Bear, the Scent and the beautiful illustrations all allow that subconscious message to be set deeper because it uses because it encompasses other senses in the body.
Small Soul's like repetition so the Book and Bear will be read for a time, it is not a one off if your Small Souls are like mine!
We then introduce the I AM affirmation cards and match the Colour of them to the Bears Chakras.(Repeated 3 times)
Most Small Soul's will be aware of their emotions stored in 4 of them.
Root, Sacral, Solar Plexus and Heart.
We have a pdf on our website for you to download alongside a card in the package, so we can all understand what emotions sit there.
Its simplified for Small Soul's to understand and has rhymes.(Repetition again)
Younget non -readers will easily match colour from the Book, to the Bear to the cards.
The next part is guiding Small souls to use these affirmations daily, say 3 times for where that feeling is. We do not focus on the actual emotion, we state a positive statement.
Try this for yourself:
"I am tired "....then change the words to:
"I could do with more energy".
What word will your Subconscious brain respond to better? The negative is tired and the positive is energy. We have to make a choice to say the word that will respond best in our brains. Small Soul's find this hard so this is where the I AM affirmations support them in their growth mindset.
21 days of a repetitive statement becomes set in the Subconcsious mind.
(Remember this when you talk about your self too).
The I AM cards can be used for snap or turned over on a table and everyone can pick a card and say it and talk about that statement.
I AM BRAVE, what did you do today that was brave? They can be hung up, stuck on walls or put in a lunchbox for a daily reminder.
They also have a Bookmark that they can write things they are grateful for daily and a Chart whch is a visual tool for them to see their progress.
This then releases Dopamine, the reward hormone when we acheive something.
Previous reward charts we have encountered have black marks or red crosses for "bad behaviour" and thats not the best visual for Small Souls.
We want Small Souls to have a voice, a mindful and kind attitude, an inner reserve of self love and strength so that when challenges arise, they are equipped with inner tools.
Imagine your Small Soul in school and someone says something mean...their whole day is affected and it dominoes when they get home and you have no clue that 1 other Small Soul had upset them.
Then Imagine them saying, I AM unique and I AM lovable and strolling off with sass because they give not one bit of power to someone elses words towards them!
The words and actions others use will have no effect on their happiness because their subconscious mind has been set with their daily work.
There is an underlying theme in the Book about being different(Disability), a different colour(Race) and asking for a hug (Consent) and we hope we delivered in a simple way without using the words. We know the struggle of these words and what it causes in Society today, so we want our Small Souls to be raised accepting everyone and having boundaries too.
(My Small Soul has Neuro developmental challenges )
The best part is they have no clue, its not hard work, it is comforting, it is connecting with Big souls, it is fun, its not at a desk, on screen or with a stranger in a therapy room.
It's their friend, in their space, to have with them every day, away from home, at the Hospital, Dentist, Doctors...anywhere!
So from age 3 to age 7, we now have something simple to support their growth.
Our logo is a Soul, not a boy or a girl. We want all Small Souls to have this.
We hope this has helped you to see what Lavenderbuddy does!
This post was brought to you by Kathleen AKA Mammabear